So weird. I’m in my apartment, curled up on my couch with laptop, take out food, pj’s, sleep in my eyes. How can this be. How can that fabulous adventure be over, and I, organizing the pictures from it? As usual, I’ve forgotten to budget time for rest. I thought I’d have a video of our show edited by now. I did not foresee that I would be flat out for a couple of weeks, just trying to refocus my eyes and sleep clock, let alone clean, pay bills, weed through the debris of months of prep and then months away. I am spun out.

As Richard Caliban, who’s taken the Edinburgh adventure pointed out, isn’t it frustrating when people ask, “How was it?” and you get through half a sentence before they say “Wow, that’s great, anyway, we’ve got…and they begin ticking off the New York paced list of 3 years worth of to do’s you have to accomplish by nightfall.

In a way, thank god they don’t really want to know, because where in the hell would you begin? Honestly?

But I’ll never be the same. NEVER.

I learned that in spite of how I didn’t want to hold the money bucket, when I did, people put money in it. I learned people packed the house when I flyered in costume, which I didn’t want to do because it goes against my pull toward invisibility, a ridiculous direction for a performer. I learned it works best when I’m myself, not trying to be anything else.

I learned when I ask for what I need it’s ok.

Really weird. really really weird.

I never witnessed an ounce of violence, not even on TV till I was on the plane on the way back to the good ole US. I realized I’m American. A fish doesn’t know it’s wet. I never really thought about being an American, because my only trips away were relatively short lived. 6 weeks was enough of a chunk to get it. We are the spoiled blond popular girl of the world, the one who has no idea what it’s like to have zits and divorced parents, and not to be able to afford a limo for prom. We’re very often a good force too, trying to give acne cream to the poor unwashed.

Meanwhile, In Brittain, they’re much more aware of the rest of the world’s difficulty, but they lead a very graceful, civilized life. Truly lovely.

I was surprised to be homesick, because I also didn’t want to leave.

Back at Theatre 80 my beautiful Kooks continue their rhythm same as before. And I fit fine.  Meeting with the Genie and the team about organizing the mayhem, following Lorcan around like a puppy on all his little tasks; try out some tapas at local restaurants, get paprika at the spice store on 1st Ave. I never knew existed, pick up cherry tomatoes for a new recipe. Life goes on unbroken. Like none of the magic ever happened. I guess because…this is magic too.


I’m sure I’ll find center again soon and begin whirling with the next phase. I’ll get video of the show edited, begin plans for next shows. Tomorrow I have a gig for the 25th anniversary of the Playwright’s Theatre of New Jersey. They’ve invited “MoM, A Rock Concert Musical” to be part of their celebration. We’re actually closing the show! I’m very honored. Those guys took great care of us during our run with them last year at this time. The latest is we’ll be going on tour early in the new year! So, the adventure continues.

My life is fairly enchanted, I’d say. Great family, friends, community, health. Yeah. Life’s just fine.

More soon folks, a CD and Video of Cube Rat coming up.  Love to all who helped me rock Edinburgh. Like I said. I’ll Never NEVER be the same. 🙂


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